Today, my daughter had a bit of a meltdown when I left the school today. I guess I am not terribly surprised since she was home all last week. Yesterday went fine because she missed her friends at school...but today two of the kids were having a hard time dealing with mom or dad walking out that door. As I escaped to my car, tears had started down my own cheeks. Yes, she knew that I would be back for her. But those two tearful faces brought a flood of emotion for the children of Guatemala...who knows how long this process will take before they are reunited with their forever families.
MARIE'S STORY (Marie's family is in process of adopting Maritza):
We just returned from Guatemala and celebrated Maritza's 5th birthday together. We were told she couldn't sleep the night before waiting for us. She ran into my arms and said, mi mami, mi ma-ma, es mia, eres mia! (my mommy, my momma, you are all mine!). I broke down in tears. There we were on the cold marble floors of this
huge house, huddled together on the floor, crying. It was her first of everything...her first party dress, her first cake, her first birthday party. We will never forget her anticipation all day of waiting for the cake to arrive from the bakery. She couldn't eat lunch because she wanted her cake. We will never forget her face when finally I entered
into the dining room with a lighted birthday cake. It was wonderful. The young nannies also enjoyed it, blowing whistles and horns, singing and of course, eating cake. Gifts, and I mean alot of gifts, soon followed. She opened each one delicately, and with each one asked us, if this was hers. She loves pink, and is such a girl. She loves dresses, especially pink ones. She gathered all her gifts into her birthday bags and would not let them go. She walked around dragging all these bags, she looked like a cross between a NYC bag lady and someone who just went on a shopping spree at Macy's on 34th Street!!!!! She put on every bow we gave her and wouldn't take off her party dress. She slept in it.
Of course the next day more dresses were tried on and she still dragged all her bags around where ever she went. We painted, and played with dolls, we did our nails together, made bead bracelets, combed her hair, tried on bows, played ball, ran around and over and over again she would tell me I was her mama. I got her ready for bed and she chose the pink (of course) pajamas we got her, I tucked her into bed, read her a story and kissed her good-night. Oh, I had to do this three more times that same night, because she told me she really liked it!!! The last day together, while still carrying her bags she started saying she was coming home with us to live in our big house. How do you even begin to explain to a just-turned 5 year old what a visa is, how stupid governments are and why we couldn't bring her home. Her nannies and teacher helped me with this, but to no avail. We will continue to call her on Fridays when her teacher is there and on Sundays when the night nurse is there, she loves to talk on the cell phone. We explained to her we had to get her room ready, and have papers signed. She wants ten dolls, one bike and ...a car waiting for her. She started regressing, she wanted me to feed her dinner that night with a spoon, she sat on my laps and wanted to be carried instead of walking,. At bed time, she wanted me to sleep with her. We fell asleep together.
The next day, she came to me, dressed, like with 3 outfits on, and all her possessions in her birthday bags, ready to come home with us. I will never forget our long goodbye. To make it short, we left a crying 5 year old on the cold marble floors, the same one that we both huddled on when we first met. She was held by her beloved teacher and doctor. As we drove off the grounds, I could still hear her screams, don't leave me here mama, I want to go with you!!! Even now, I can still hear her and I always will. I will never forget those screams. We are back into PGN, if not today, then by Monday we were told. The socio-political situation in GT has deteriorated since the last time we were there in October. More violence, more crimes. You can actually feel the tension in the air, and know that at anytime this place is going to explode. I am left exhausted from this trip, so many more things happened, that I can't even share with you at this time. Keep us all in your prayers and thoughts that soon, a little girl whose only wish is to be home, will be.
~ Marie (mom to Maritza)
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(Kelly's comments)
What is sad is there is no easy answer. The children didn't make a decision to be where they are. They should not be invalidated because of their circumstances. The extreme poverty is not going to disappear whether or not adoptions eventually stop. Women are not going to come out of the woodwork to care for the thousands of children without homes in Guatemala. Children will still be born to impovershed families, they will still need families, they will still be discriminated against because of their lack of place in the elitist world. They will still have feelings, feel rejection and not understand that there is a family who would love them and cherish them in another country. If I had a wish...it would be that NO child would have to suffer the emotional traumas that often lead to adoption much less a biological mother. Adoption isn't a cure for the social ills...but it is a cure for a child who has already been denied the security and love of a family.
Please come home....
Posted by Kelly at April 10, 2007 04:16 PMKelly,
I could not stop crying reading this story. I am balling like a baby. Is this your story or somebody that you know?
Posted by: JILL at April 10, 2007 07:53 PMKelly - I am speechless. Thank you for sharing this story. My heart is breaking for all the children who are caught in this ridiculous situaton.
Posted by: Darcy at April 11, 2007 02:07 PMKelly,
I'm in the same boat as Jill, tears running non stop down my face, picturing my little girl that isn't able to be here with us because of all the govermental problems. There has to be something that can be done.....
Melissa
This breaks my heart. I adotped my little girl, Celina/born 8-12-04, from Guatemala. I have had her here in the U.S. with me since 8-14-05. She spent a year in an orphanage. My heart broke when I had to leave her when I visited her at 4 months. She was screaming in a swing when I left. I broght her home 8 months later. Kelly, I pray that this little girl can come home very, very soon. God Bless you and your little girl.
Posted by: Janet Wilhite at April 11, 2007 09:21 PMThis story is so heart-breaking. Can anyone please tell me why the newspapers don't print stories like this? They only want to print stories about isolated incidents of corruption and not focus on the children who are in the middle of all of this. This has given Guatemalan adoptions a bad stereotype. It's horrible!
Our little girl just turned 1 month old and we've been waiting until we receive word that we can visit. I don't know what I would do if our child was old enough to actually know what is going on. God bless the innocent children in all of this.
Posted by: Linda at April 12, 2007 02:15 AMI HAVE 2 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN FROM GUATEMALA. HANNAH IS NOW 19 YEARS OLD AND HUNTER IS 16 YEARS OLD. HANNAH WAS 6 MONTHS OLD WHEN I WENT TO GUATEMALA AND BROUGHT HER HOME. HUNTER WAS 16 MONTHS WHEN I WENT TO GUATEMALA AND BROUGHT HIM HOME. IT SEEMS THAT OVER THE YEARS THAT PEOPLE ARE HAVING A HARDER TIME GETTING THE CHILDREN THAT NEED OUR LOVE SO VERY MUCH. I PRAY THAT SOON YOUR LITTLE MARIA WILL GET TO COME HOME.
MICHELE
Posted by: Michele at April 12, 2007 03:38 AMWe have been trying to bring our beloved Isabella home for over 4 1/2 years. Our past visit was in Sept. This vist was the most heartbreaking. She is well aware that we are her mom and dad and her little sister. When we told her we were leaving the next day and that her fostermom was going to take her back home she grabbed my leg and started crying that she wanted to go home with her mommy.I could only hold her and cry with her.Her fostermom said she morned our parting for several weeks after we left. When she knew I was on the phone she cried to come home with us. And all I can do is cry and wait. The system that has kept our daughter from being with us is horrific to say the least. PGN/court of minors is well aware that her birth family doesnt want her, those that are suppose to work on her case let her file sit for months on end with no progress, one person would rather pawn off decisions to the next, and I could go on and on.And dont get me started on the abandonement process that it turned into. We hired outside help with no movement either. So we sit and wait and wait. I really wish someone would be held accountable. Because my child and all those other children that wait needlesly are the ones that suffer.
Kelly, Iam truley sorry for the wait. It brought tears down my eyes just reading about the heartbreak.
Audra
Just to clarify...this is Marie's story (she has recently joined Guatadopt.com as a writer). She has been so busy on the forums, that I posted her story here. It does strike a chord with me since our daughters are about the same age.
Audra - I am so sorry for you too! Its not fair to punish these children. I hope that she will come home soon!
Kelly
Posted by: Kelly at April 13, 2007 10:52 PM