My trip to Guatemala

So I'm going to veer off the frequently asked questions path just for a moment to talk about my first trip back to Guatemala. It's something I didn't mention during the story of my life portion, but I think it's something you all might be interested in reading about. And since I'm very close (hopefully) to receiving pink, I'm writing this realizing that I'm about to make my second trip there soon. So, I guess I figured that the time is right.

My parents had always wanted to take me back to Guatemala. However, the war lasted until I was almost out of high school. Then came college, and with it a myriad of other trips, time constraints, and other general distractions for me. So honestly, the time just never seemed to be right.

Then one day I got connected with a non-profit that does work to end the cycle of poverty in Guatemala through education. They invited me to go on a trip with them, where we'd be delivering books to rural schools, as well as donating school supplies, opening libraries, and starting computer labs. Here it was, my chance to return to the country of my birth. And not just as a tourist, but as someone helping my people. What a wonderful opportunity!

Right before we left, I was contacted by an individual who was also going on the trip. She was a journalist, and wanted to know if I'd be willing to have the trip filmed and recorded in parts and pieces, for a TV spot on the local news. I hesitated for a moment, as this was unexpected. But, as you can obviously tell, I've never been shy about telling my story, so I figured, sure, why not?

We were in Guatemala for about two weeks. Overall, the trip was amazing. Such a beautiful place, such beautiful people. I was so eager to see where it was I would have lived out my life had it not been for my wonderful parents finding me. I went with no expectations at all, which was really hard for people to understand. "What are you hoping to find?", my fellow trip-goers would ask me. "How do you feel?", they'd inquire on different days along the way. It actually started to become uncomfortable at times, because I'd think I was letting them down by not having exciting, sexy answers to these questions. The truth was really not very glamorous at all. I was simply there to be there. That's it. That's all. I wasn't looking for anything. I didn't feel anything. I just wanted to be. And that was really hard for people to understand. In fact, I'm sure some of you are reading this right now and going, "huh?". But honestly, I just wanted to open my eyes and see. I wanted to stand there and smell. I wanted to breathe in the air. I looked around me at the people with whom I belonged, ethnicity-wise. It was funny, I think I expected to step off the plane and see a bunch of clones, all of whom looked like me. Ha. But in reality, it was just like anywhere else in the world, everyone looked different. Sure, there weren't as many varieties of shapes and sizes, hair colors, eye colors, etc. as in the United States. But still, everyone somehow looked different from one another. And I did see simiarities to me, which made me feel happy in some way. I never "fit in" looks-wise here in the States, and although it doesn't bother me, it was also a kind of cool feeling to be somewhere where I did.

The microphone and camera did get a little intrusive at times, but I'm glad I did it. The story that aired was really cool to tape and have forever. Of course it was just a small snippet of the trip overall, but still a good momento to have. The best part, that they did catch on camera, was when a woman at one of the schools came up to me and said some lovely things in Spanish to me. I could tell they were lovely because of the tone of her voice, her facial expression, and the tears in her eyes. But unfortunately, my Spanish was not good enough to catch everything, so I ran off to the tour bus crying. I found my (then) boyfriend (now husband), and told him what had happened. He grabbed one of the tour-goers who was fluent, told her what had happened, and she whisked me back to the woman and explained the situation. The woman then repeated herself while my newfound interpreter translated. What she said that day will live forever in my heart, although I could never recount for you word for word what the message was. The overall summary is that she said she was so happy to see how my life had turned out, to see how happy I was and what a great person I seemed to be. She said that she was honored to meet me and so glad that I had returned to my country. She said not to worry, because I'd always have a place and a home there, in Guatemala. And then she hugged me and held me while I cried like a baby.

Whew. Kind of heavy for a Sunday morning, eh? Sorry. I guess I didn't know where I'd head with this until I started.

So. That was my first trip back. And very soon, possibly in a matter of a few days, I'll be back there again. This time I'll be meeting my daughter for the first time. There we will be, two generations of Guatemalan women whose lives will be a blend of cultures forever. I can't wait to see things through her eyes someday. And I'm sure we will return together as well in the future. I feel like time is standing still almost, like I'm looking back and remembering my life so far, and looking forward to imagine what hers will be. All I know is, I have my seatbelt fasted and I am ready for this ride.