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July 03, 2009

Checking Back In

Okay, so, I've been absent for a bit. Okay, a long time. It seems that this whole raising-a-kid thing is very time-consuming!

Also, to be honest, I let the naysayers get to me as well. I had received several nasty e-mails telling me what a horrible mother I was going to be, and how I will probably force my daughter to feel the same way I feel, and what a freak I am for not having any "issues" about being adopted and for not being interested in finding out more about people who might be biologically related to me. I should not have been surprised I suppose. Although I had started writing on this site to be a source of information for people interested in my experiences as an adult who had been adopted from Guatemala, I should have realized that any time you open yourself up for questioning, you also open yourself up for criticism. I guess I was just surprised that anyone would be so upset about the way I was living *my* life. Mostly because I don't see how my having a happy life would make people mad. It's very odd to me. In any case, I'm over it, and so you folks can lambast me all you want, but it's still not going to take away the fact that I am happy with my life. So, sorry. :-)

Also, I've had a bit of "writer's block", mostly because my day-to-day life seems so unremarkable that every time I would sit down to write something, I'd think, "Wow, how boring. No one wants to read this!" Like this morning, for instance. My daughter has bathed, I've been doing work on my laptop, and now I am getting ready to clean the house. Um, okay. Where's the riveting story in that?

The past three years for me since my daughter was born have been pretty much the standard three years of anyone who has had children. There was the first year with all of the fun milestones, the joining of clubs for stay-at-home moms, the potty training, the playdates. I figure that things will liven up here soon, since she starts school in the Fall. So maybe I will have more to say then? This column started out being more about me, but now that I'm a mother, I see it progressing to be more about my experience raising my daughter from an adoptee's perspective, and how that frames how I raise her.

Well, that's it for now. Sorry it couldn't be more exciting! I must rush off since my sweet pea has decided that it would be a good idea to completely re-arrange her closet...

Posted by meredith at July 3, 2009 07:43 AM
Comments

Great to see you back, Meredith. I have enjoyed your perspective, as I appreciate all adoptees' perspectives. Can't figure why people would criticize you for not having issues but hey...

Posted by: Janelee at July 4, 2009 12:46 AM

Welcome back, I've missed your 'columns'!
I'm looking forward to more!

Posted by: Suzanne at July 4, 2009 01:43 AM

Welcome back, Meredith! I've missed your columns.Please contribute what comes to mind..your perspective is interesting and important for APs to hear. (and don't let the naysayers get you down--I have to say that I've found the adoption community one of the most judgemental groups of people I've ever encountered).

Posted by: sjbj at July 4, 2009 02:20 AM

I am very happy to hear you are happy! I am now going to look back on all of your posts.

Thank you,
Sally


Posted by: Sally at July 4, 2009 09:25 PM

Thanks for sharing with us and welcome back. As another adoptee who is happy, and does not care to find out "where I came from", I say the heck with the criticism,enjoy being happy and well adjusted, you are not the only one. Our parents are the people who took care of us and raised us, DNA match not needed.

Posted by: Mary Ann at July 5, 2009 04:08 AM

Meredith,

I totally understand where you are coming from. People process these things differently. And yes, I have seen some people in the adoptive commuity who are very emotionally reactive about certain topics. I have also received long lecturing types of emails because of just one sentence that I typed. Interesting, huh? And people act very differently on the internet than they would in person. They say all kinds of things they would never say to your face.

Hugs and best of wishes, Cheryl

Posted by: cheryl at July 7, 2009 01:36 AM

So glad to read a post from you again! I really value your perspective as an adult adoptee and appreciate your willingness to share w/all of us. I think there are many of us who have unfortunately been the recipients of some nasty emails b/c our opinion or experience differs from someone else...thank you for not letting it stop you from contributing your voice to the discussion.

Posted by: Kristen at July 7, 2009 04:25 AM

Welcome back, Meredith. I've enjoyed reading your posts over the years and value your perspective. FWIW, we just returned from Guatemala where our son got to meet a number of birthfamily members. Perhaps one day he'll write a column about it :-). Best wishes to you and your family.

Posted by: Lee at July 7, 2009 01:10 PM

Hi! My two cousins were adopted domestically. The girl(now 32) is content with what was in her file. The boy (now 28) searched and found his bioparents this year and after finding them, realized it did not change anything in his life. I now have three adopted children and will support their decisions when the time comes! Nobody walks in your shoes, but you, and if you are doing it the best way you know how, then good for you!

Posted by: Sue at July 15, 2009 03:21 AM

Meredith,
Thanks for taking the time to write, it's tough w/ little ones! Keep your chin up, I agree with Sue, no one lives your life but you. I have 4 cousins who were adopted, many friends who were and even had a boyfriend once who was all with varying desires and feelings on the subject of birth parents. But one thing was/is always constant: they were/are loved, the family that raised them was just that- their family. my cousins are my cousins no matter how it happened,we never thought of them as "adopted" or "different" in any way. I can only hope my son, who became my son through adoption, will grow up happy , healthy and live his own life to the fullest. Like you!

Posted by: betsy at November 24, 2009 07:47 AM

Meredith, I am new to Guatadopt but have adopted a three year old from Guatemala and am interested to hear that you and may other adopted people are perfectly okay with it. I have been worried for my daughter. Your news is reassuring.
Thanks,
Jerni

Posted by: Jerni at December 12, 2009 09:16 PM

My 2 children, 3 & 4 years old were adopted from guatemala & brought home in 2006, & 2007. I truly adore them & vice versa. I hope that when they become adults they will feel just as you do.
How wonderful, don;t change & best wishes.

Posted by: teri at April 11, 2010 07:41 AM