If you are blogging or considering it, here are some things that you should think about:
1) Unless you have it configured to be private, it is public to the world.
2) Most public blogging sites have very good webcrawlers that will catalog phrases, names, etc. from your site. That includes full names, birth names, embarrassing comments, etc.
3) It will also catalog photos (by your comments). So, before you load them, would you show those same photos/posts on your blog to a stranger in the supermarket? How about the US or Guatemalan government?
4) Can a child predator trace your child to your home if they found your site? Is your schedule of daily events visible?
5) Did you know that semi naked pictures from innocent family blogs have circulated the web? Look again at those wonderful pictures of your kids!!!

I know many of us blog with the thought that unless you advertise it, its really just going to be friends and family. However, that is not really the case. So please, please be careful out there. While most of our readers enjoy sharing our experiences with other adoptive parents....we may be sharing a bit too much!

General tips:
Avoid posting full names
Don't use last names or identifying information in your blogs
If you are using it as a personal journal, consider making some posts private if that is an option
Make sure the pictures posted are decent
Use aliases for family members

Also see The Dangers in Blogging

Today, I was looking up something for my daughter and noticed the plea from Jimmy Wales for donations. Reading further, I realized that this was a site with similar commitments as Guatadopt but certainly a much larger scale: "Wikipedia content is free to use by anyone for any purpose." and "Wikipedia is run by the non-profit Wikimedia Foundation, which I [Jummy Wales] founded in 2003."

Wikipedia is driven primarily by the 150,000+ volunteers. It's growth is requiring bigger servers and improved maintenance and that costs money. I can grasp that because over the past 6 years, we've had to expand tremendously to keep up with the traffic, the space, the forum and the desire not to throw away history of our site. But I'm veering off the subject here. The point is that I know many kids, teachers and parents use them for research and have a richer understanding of a subject because of Wikipedia. Guatadopt is no different. We have linked information about people, places and things. Just from our site, Wikipedia has been clicked on more than 80,000 times.

So, I wanted to pass along their plea for donations because a site like Wikipedia has opened up the availability of information on almost any subject.

Click here to read about it.

Homework? Ask about the amount of homework they will be given and whether it is consistent (Mon-Thurs?). If there is a curriculum night, do what you can to attend.

Mongolian Spots
If your child has mongolian spots (often they fade out prior to school age), make sure to document this for your school or daycare AND make a copy for the teacher. Print out an article about them instead of trying to explain themselves such as Wikipedia's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongolian_spot.

I like to print these things in color so the person reading it can really see what they can look like. In your documentation, describe where the spot is located and the general size and shape. Documenting is a good idea whether your school/teacher is familiar them or not. For a little extra assurance, get your pediatrician document them for you. Why? As you probably noticed, these spots look like bruises and can easily be mistaken for abuse. I am aware of a few cases where the parents were reported for abuse. So, be proactive and protect your family.

We are an Adoptive Family
There are many suggestions around the internet about writing this letter. Here is one: Adoptive Families' Letter

My only criticism is that a smart teacher may be offended at the way the letter was written (well, duh). I would probably tweak it so that it doesn't insinuate that the teacher is braindead :-) Unfortunately, there are a few out there that are a bit clueless. Of course, if I really had to answer these questions for a teacher...it might be a wise move to pull my daughter out of this class!!!! Other than that, you will want to add an explicit request to consider how certain projects/statements relating to a child's family are presented. You can use the family tree project or genetics projects as an example. Express an openness to brainstorming assignments that might be sensitive subjects to an adoptive family. Notice, I do not say adopted child...because that is a label that insinuates that they are somehow different whereas, it is actually the FAMILY that is different! It is also a subtle reminder that the subject is sensitive to the parents as well as the child. (Is she adopted? No, she WAS adopted..verb, not an adjective). Some teachers DO have experience with dealing with sensitive subjects and remember, you want them to be on your side so don't offend them within the first few days of school! What I try to do is say something like “Here is some information about XYZ that I found helpful. to us. OK...I'm bad about doing this. I guess it is because we know the teacher and are pretty confident in the way course material will be handled (generally).

Less Business, More Pleasure
Young children are a great source of laughter, amusement and personality when they are home. That doesn't completely change when they step in the classroom. Who wants to miss out? Certainly, not me! They will often share their reservations or excitement about school with an amusing comment. A teacher can know your child much better by understanding the fears or excitement that they have for school so take time to share them (without breaking confidences or embarrassing your child, of course). The first day of school, I shared a mild funny with my daughter's teacher. At week two, we are already communicating very comfortably whether we are sharing concerns or laughing over funny statements. Our little list of amusing comments have made the circuit with the teachers and they have a better insight to my daughter's personality! While I know that I am extremely lucky to have very thoughtful teachers, I know that this relationship is a two way street. Good communication happens long before problems or concerns pop up.

Tutoring
For elementary age children, this is also a good time to look around at tutoring options. Many schools have programs or teachers wanting some extra income (where allowed). Outside tutoring programs like Silvan or Kumon might be a good idea if you want to change the environment. Tutoring is not just a resource for struggling students. Most children have weak spots in their understanding on SOME subject and it is often a great way to boost confidence. I find it is a wonderful option for working parents who have limited time to tutor at home. Furthermore, a lot of children don't particularly like tutoring from their parents no matter how patient they are! Some of the most advanced students I know spend time with tutors...and it doesn't have to be a huge investment.

Pretty Baskets (ESL/ELL)
Last year, I researched the possibility of changing careers to being an ESL teacher. We have a large Hispanic population and I felt (like many other ESL teachers) that they needed an advocate in the school system. Oddly enough, ESL and ELL have become sore spots with many adoptive parents and fluent English speakers of Latin American decent. This year, I've already heard several instances of children from Guatemala who have been brought up with English as their primary language and came here at a very young age are being misclassified in ESL/ELL (English as a Second Language/English Language Learner). It amazes me since they are supposedly concluding this from “assessments”. It certainly doesn't happen everywhere, but it happens enough! The reasons for these improper placements seem to run the gamut:
Thought the child should have cultural exposure.
Child had speech issues and placed in ESL because it was convenient
Child was bilingual
Misconception that all Hispanic children struggle with English!
Restrictive Placement Guidelines used by people that can't think for themselves.
Funding
In a discussion with an assessor last year, I could not seem to get across to her that my daughter would not need ESL (my daughter knows very little Spanish, unfortunately). After being talked down to about state guidelines, I told her "If you are incapable of thinking for yourself, then you are incapable of assessing my child." My quote seems to apply with many organizations/individuals bent on following insufficient “guidelines” over common sense. Unfortunately, lack of flexibility is not the answer! It *seems* (and I say that because its based on my exposure) that it is more of a problem in Public School. My advice....be polite the first time, but don't let them railroad you into something that is not appropriate for your child. Be firm, get loud and call the local investigative reporters! On the flip side, if your child who came home later might benefit from these programs, then fight to have them included. Someone asked me once why I picked a Private school for my child. The question was so generic, but the answer was simple. Because I felt that FOR HER, it was the best solution AVAILABLE. On the flip side, I have a friend who took her son OUT of a different private school because they did not have adequate resources for ESL and speech. Kudos to her...everyone should do what is RIGHT for their own child(ren)!! Research...research...research that school!

Advocating for your Child
I've heard about a lot of families being denied government programs for various reasons. It happens and its frustrating. I am a huge supporter of fighting for your child. However, don't eat away a lot of time trying to find a government supported program if your child needs assistance immediately. Go out and find it. Find out if there are speech therapists and occupational therapists that often visit after school programs and who are privately paid. If you do qualify for a government sponsored program, ask lots of questions about restrictions. Just remember, that tax paid programs are not going to be all out generous. When my daughter entered pre-K, we glanced at a few Georgia sponsored pre-K programs. The curriculum was not very flexible and she was already ahead of it. I was not getting paid regularly, but I opted for a private school setting because of the personal attention. Instead of reviewing her ABCs, she was learning to read and doing basic math. She was challenged and pampered. To date, we are happy with her progress in this particular school and will continue even if it is stressful financially. But if she had been at the same level with the Georgia Pre-K program and if the facility seemed pretty nuturing, our choice would have been to take advantage of it. There are no blanket answers for your child. Don't assume that a school is going to be a good match for your child because it costs money and don't assume that inexpensive or free programs are going to give you adequate services. The point is to take the time to RESEARCH and find out if what they have to offer is what you want and whether its WORTH what it costs. This is especially true if you are locked into a year contract or have penalties to pay for withdrawing!

What are the longterm benefits?
Is this a preventative action (meaning, you are possibly offsetting future ramifications)?
What is the cost vs. the hassle/inconvenience?
How comfortable do you think your child will be with the service?
Is this personalized/customized or is it a group setting?
Who will be teaching/coaching my child?
What methodologies do they follow?
How much flexibility is in the program (is it too rigid)?
Is this appropriate for MY child?

Furthermore, if you are unhappy with a school situation after starting, don't stomach it out if your child is suffering. Money is replaceable, children are priceless!

Extra Curricular Activities & Homework
My early years in a private school had very limited physical activities. I always felt “behind” in this area and envied those students who seemed to be so coordinated (ie: good at sports)! So, it was really important that I found a physical activity for my daughter. The problem is that there are a LOT more programs right after school when I am still at work. Then there is the time it takes when your child gets more into competitive sports. I know kids who have activities every afternoon. What about homework? In our own situation, we are lucky that the after-school care provides a quiet time for working on homework. My niece balances a lot of dance classes and Kudos to the facility for providing an area for children to sit and work on their homework!

This year, my daughter has a weekly organizer designed specifically for kids her age. Each day, the teacher has the students write their homework assignment in their organizer. I am really pleased with the effort to teach them organization skills along with having a log for their homework. If your teacher does not do this, buy a weekly school planner. You can still help your student by asking them to write their homework/schedule in the planner. We purchased one at Barnes and Noble before we knew that the class would provide one (and it ended up being better suited to her age).

It is also a good exercise to have your child sit down and plan activities with you. Even a Kindergartener will feel more responsible if he/she is giving input on when to have “chill” time and when to work on homework. Obviously, a parent may do a better job planning...but organizing FOR your kids doesn't teach them how to do it themselves (something I CONSTANTLY have to remind myself!).

So, those are my back to school tips....I'm sure I could keep writing to cover more subjects, expound on some, or to clarify...but then it would never make it on the site!

Good luck to all our new school dwellers. Parents, please feel free to add your back to school tips in the comments!

So what could prompt the organizers to even consider such an insulting label and why didn't somebody notice how tacky it was BEFORE it was used? Well, the the organizers suggested that the title somehow evolved from "Non Traditional Mom". Was that title too long? Were they trying to disuade voters from this category? Doubtful. And where were the Teleflora Adoptive Moms who said "Whoa, that sounds horrible!"? Did Marie Osmond (with 5 children through adoption) cringe and if so, how did it make it up there, anyway? For the life of me, I can't see how such an offensive title could accidentally make it on the site.

Why is is there a distinction (as it relates to BEING a mom) and why do others want to point it out? For me, the distinction of a super mom is not how we became moms but how we perform our Mommy duties, how much we do for our kids or how we manage to balance other daunting tasks while staying focused on our kids.

Shelly, an adoptive mom who teaches 2nd grade, had a chance to explain it to her class:
The subject of my son came up around Mothers Day and the term "REAL MOM", so I incorporated my answer into a Mothers Day project. I had my class decorate pages to define a mother (for cards we would give during Mothers Day). Then we shared our answers:
Mom's take care of us.
Moms feed us.
Moms tuck us into bed.
Moms love us even when we are bad.
Moms listen to us.
Moms give us hugs and kisses.
Moms are there for us.
Moms protect us.
...and the list went on....

As I handed out the yarn to weave together the pages, I told them that they had defined a REAL MOM. I told them that I did all those things for my son and I loved him very much. The Friday before Mothers Day, the students presented a wrapped present to me which was a book similar to the ones we made for their moms....it said: 'To our REAL TEACHER...a REAL MOM'. I tried not to cry, but have to admit that I was moved.

Again, I go back to a basic truth: Moms are not defined by how they became a MOM but how they perform their task. Its interesting, the only time I really think about myself as an "adoptive parent" is when someone labels me as one.

Happy Mothers Day!

Kelly
Mom to a SUPER kid :-)

Sincerely, Guatadopt Staff and the Guatadopt community

**If you would like to join this pledge, please add your name in the comments. You may also expound on the type of pledge you would like to make whether it is financial, prayer, volunteering, etc...**

The initial signs are disquieting, to say the least. The new Adoptions Law was passed through heavy international pressure in December, with a very short implementation period and with many questions left open as to how the law would work in practice, how women in need could access adoption services, and what requirements adoptive parents would have to follow. Moreover, the Guatemalan media was filled with commentaries and official quotes stating that, under the new law, an adoption would take at least two years to complete and that the new law’s requirements would have the effect of drastically reducing the number of adoptions.

Notice that Guatemalan officials were not quoted as saying that the new law would reduce the need for adoptions. No, these officials appear to be concerned only with reducing the number of adoptions. Perhaps they honestly believe that the thousands of adoptions over the past several years reflect a corrupt, money-driven system that somehow paid thousands of women to get pregnant and sell their babies to the highest bidder. And perhaps some portion of their claims/concerns are true. Yet equally true are the stories that birth families have conveyed face to face to many adoptive families. Stories of dire poverty and secret pregnancies. Stories of illness and too many children to provide for.

Our worry must also be mixed with genuine outrage. UNICEF and various NGOs that purport to care about women and children might want to take a look at a recent study published in Science Magazine. The study shows the severe harm done to children through institutionalization and the benefits of foster care as a temporary measure for children waiting for forever families. Yet the law that they urged Guatemala to pass does away with foster care. Further proof (if we needed any) that, for UNICEF and organizations like Casa Alianza, the well-being of children is the least of their concerns.

The new Central Authority is not yet running, with only days until the new law takes effect. Where are the counselors who will be able to provide women with advice and assistance? Where are the children’s homes to care for children who cannot remain in their biological families? We as an adoption community are about to find out. More importantly, so are the children of Guatemala.

So, I am going to just say a couple of things. While there are many issues that have complicated the whole issue...the most influential players have come down to:
A) Those who see a child in need and will do something about it....and
B) Those who see a child in need and point to them saying "Someone really ought to do something".

You can take a guess who I would put in the B category (starts with a U)

C) There are ways to reduce poverty....education.
D) There are ways to reduce corruption....prosecuting those who hurt the children
E) There are ways to reduce cultural bias....time to heal and effort to solve other social ills (and this applies everywhere in the world)

I don't believe the Ortega solves the problems of C, D or E. There is a lot of B....but very little A. So while the crimes against women and children became the marketing campaign for it, I don't believe it does much about the factors that influence why they occur.

There are VICTIMS of crime and then there are VICTIMS of badly implemented laws. If the constitutional challenges fail, I can only hope that the Guatemala will take a good long look and see if there is a way to make this law function without hurting the people it is supposed to help! The answer is A.

What has been difficult is that our physical costs keep growing and the time each of our writer's spend has grown exponentially. Readership is still growing significantly. Meanwhile, there are fewer readers starting the process (due to the impending Hague) and there is so much more competition for cute Guatemala shirts (unfortunately, some who have used our name, phrases and ideas as well)....so site sales have significantly declined. We're heading towards "red" again.

I'll back up and talk about why we have not become a charity (501c3)....That seems to be the most common suggestion by our readers. Well, two years ago when I became serious about turning it into one, I did a bit of research on the requirements and where we would fall under a charter. The uneasiness came from the percentage of contributions you needed to have vs. sales. Hey, I'm sensitive to my audience here....I was strapped during my adoption (well ok...that didn't really end when she came home). We wanted this site to remain free to anyone who needed it. But some of the other fears....I was strapped for time and Kevin was maxed out. We would have to hire an accountant (who specialized in 501c3) and I needed to make sure we had someone involved who could make sure we were in line....Most importantly, there was the issue of separating our contributions to Guatemalan charities and being more of an educational charity. I felt the line might be a bit fuzzy to outside critics. So, needless to say....this has not happened. Maybe, I am over-thinking it....I don't know.

In the last few days, I've had a number of inquiries about the 2008 Calendar. I honestly was not sure we would do one. The time it takes to build the calendar has grown exponentially too....it just takes time to design pages with so many photos (and when you make an effort to include every child submitted!). Its not the same when you only have to use a single photo per page. Sales were down last year too compared to the number of new entries. I have to admit...the first few years, it was a lot of fun. Now, I get the jitters even thinking about making all the deadlines!!

So, why not ask readers for some ideas (and please do this via email).

Here are a couple of mine.
1 - For artists who have Cafepress stores, we could have a design contest (Guatemala adoption related design). It could be a clever saying or a beautiful picture! The top three designs would be donated to OUR shop and we would include links to the designers store.

2 - A few more adoption related products directly sold on our site. We tried the Ebay affiliate (which is up on the site), but either it has not been working, or nobody uses it!

Well....what do you guys think????

Soooo....Any donations are GREATLY appreciated!!!! If you would like to donate via PAYPAL (chargecards accepted), click below.

We welcome personal checks (for now, make them payable to Kelly Caldwell until we have some new banking changes ironed out!). Those can be sent to:
Guatadopt
5665 Atlanta Hwy
Suite 103-218
Alpharetta, GA 30004

THANKS SO MUCH!!!

3/10 - As one of our commenters mentioned, this is just a tip of the iceberg and comparing RAD to autism. Some of the articles I had prior to this are no longer valid links. However, here is what I wrote about attachment earlier and a few good links to start with...

Attachment Parenting...for me?
Radkids.org
Presentation on RAD