When I first got involved in blogging, it was only really popular among techies. Like others, it was such a great way to have the software manage quick posts to your site.....and it was how Guatadopt got started. Yeah, it was just me back then and I was posting information that I found during my own adoption research. My intent back then was just to provide updates and information for friends, family and the occassional question about the process. But blogging can be powerful and with it, there is a certain amount of responsibility for the blogger.
Today, blogging is the #1 way for online family journals and it is a wonderful way to journal about adoption. There are now thousands and thousands of adoption blogs on the internet and with it are thousands of links to other adoption blogs! But there are unseen risks and considerations that families should be aware of....
If you are blogging or considering it, here are some things that you should think about:
1) Unless you have it configured to be private, it is public to the world.
2) Most public blogging sites have very good webcrawlers that will catalog phrases, names, etc. from your site. That includes full names, birth names, embarrassing comments, etc.
3) It will also catalog photos (by your comments). So, before you load them, would you show those same photos/posts on your blog to a stranger in the supermarket? How about the US or Guatemalan government?
4) Can a child predator trace your child to your home if they found your site? Is your schedule of daily events visible?
5) Did you know that semi naked pictures from innocent family blogs have circulated the web? Look again at those wonderful pictures of your kids!!!
I know many of us blog with the thought that unless you advertise it, its really just going to be friends and family. However, that is not really the case. So please, please be careful out there. While most of our readers enjoy sharing our experiences with other adoptive parents....we may be sharing a bit too much!
General tips:
Avoid posting full names
Don't use last names or identifying information in your blogs
If you are using it as a personal journal, consider making some posts private if that is an option
Make sure the pictures posted are decent
Use aliases for family members
Also see The Dangers in Blogging
Yesterday, I was sent a link to this video and it struck a chord. As a kid, I could sleep through a tornado...and I DID sleep through a car crashing in our front yard not far from my bedroom! Ironically, I am an extremely light sleeper (unless medicated!) now. But as I watched this video, I thought "Would my daughter who knows what to do in a fire awaken if the fire alarm went off? " What about the many parents that I know who have older siblings who babysit or their house has the children's bedrooms across the house from the master bedroom. If you have children, you will want to watch this:
I would guess that the number 1 "bad agency behaviour" is intimidation! Interestingly enough, the intimidation has been self-perpetuating....and by that, I mean parents often back down because of fear of losing a referral or the agency stalling their case. The more it works, the more a less than steller agency will attempt to use this technique to distract or shoot down parents with questions or concerns. Certainly, these agencies have tainted the industry. It seems rather difficult to keep them in check!!! But lets focus for now on the things that you can do.
My first bit of advice is to UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS. I could easily say that 40%+ of the complaints/questions that we receive stem from parents not understanding the process or misinterpreting the information they were given. If you need clarification, ask your agency for a written explanation FIRST. Keep all correspondence whether it is a question about the process or a question about your case (your emails, as well). It also helps to keep a log on when you received calls and what was said.
You need to know that most states have some sort of licensing policies for adoption agencies. You can contact the Department of Human Resources to get more information. But if you have a complaint to file:
1 - Contact the Attorney General's Office in the state of operation (where the agency is located and licensed)
2 - Contact the Better Business Bureau
3 - Document your experience fully (including those emails)
Many folks are fearful of reporting their agency DURING the process. But did you know that when you pick up your child, the Embassy will probably ask you about your experience with the agency??? Well, words are sometimes hard to express with your child sitting on your lap...so, PREPARE a written statement. Document the problems, include an email or contact information and give this to the Embassy on the pickup trip.
I can tell you that it is VERY difficult to get governments to take complaints seriously. But too often, families don't pursue filing a complaint. It is my hope that with the Hague being implementing in the US, that there will be a more accountable entity to report unethical behaviour (as opposed to redtape)...but as with most every other industry, the victims need to be dilligent in filing civil and criminal complaints.