For those of you that all the sudden find yourself preparing to travel, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I have a list of travel tips that may help you prepare for you trip (it is updated for older toddlers).
Also, since many of you have been so caught up in the day to day news, I would like to remind you of a few items.
1st - Mongolian Spots: Please read up on them. It can save you a lot of embarrassment and problems with any additional caregivers.
2nd - Skin Conditions and Eczema: Our little girl had really dry cheeks (unrelated to drueling). After the doctor's recommendation didn't work. We switched to using Aveeno wash and baby lotion and her dry cheeks cleared in two days. However, Aveeno (which means oatmeal is not always recommended for children with Eczema).
3rd - Size and Head Circumference: Some (not all) Guatemalan children are a bit smaller. Small Head circumference is normal for these children and it does not signify a problem. It is a cultural reality. My little girl who is considered by her doctor to be "ahead of the game", is only in the 5 - 10% in head circumference at a year old. She is only in the 10% in weight.
4th - Speech delays: For the toddler, you may experience some speech delays as your child adjusts to hearing English (or another language other than Spanish). Again, this is nothing to worry about.
5th - FIND A DOCTOR FAMILIAR WITH INTERNATIONALLY ADOPTED CHILDREN: This is important for YOUR sanity. Whatever growth records you have, TAKE them with you. A doctor may worry about a child that is barely in the 1% of weight or head circumference if he/she has nothing to compare it to. I find it REALLY helpful to write down as much as you know about their diet, care and any other items that come to mind. This takes a load off your shoulders instead of trying to remember every point off the top of your head.
6th - Crying is normal: Try and keep yourself relaxed and calm. YOUR behaviour is going to affect their response. A confident, calm presense is going to do wonders for your child's emotional state.
7th - Post Adoption Depression: You get home and you are running on adrenalin for the first couple of weeks. All the sudden, the depression kicks in....your time is gone, the house is a wreck, your clothes don't fit, you are running on a few hours of sleep....and EVERYONE expects you to be all sunshine and light over bringing your precious child home. THIS IS NORMAL!!!! OK, so you did not have the hormone issues, but you have been on the most wicked emotional rollercoaster ride. I've noticed that many parents do NOT seek support because they are too embarrassed to gripe about their new addition when they worked so very hard to bring them home! But if you find yourself depressed....PLEASE, PLEASE find another adoptive parent (preferably one that has brought their child home;-) to blow off steam with.
It is now time to put away the TYPE A personality Preparing yourself:and concentrate on you. Limit your home-internet time. Make yourself watch a movie, sit down and see if you can play with those new toys (Megablocks are wonderful therapy). Stretch, stretch, stretch.....a baby tends to make you bend and stretch in ways you forgot about;-)
Posted by Kelly at September 19, 2003 03:49 PMThank you for the advice. It is nice to read something that will help us when the children come home. We are first time parents and when we visited Guatemala; we hadn't even made a bottle before.
We have appreciated all of your help and advice as we are waiting on a 10 month boy and 11 month girl to come home. Some advice I would like to share is "if you are going to pray, don't worry; and if you are going to worry, don't pray"
Posted by: wendy griffin at September 19, 2003 08:13 PMGreat advice, Kelly! We had the same problem w/the cheeks. We also found washing his clothes in Dreft or Ivory Snow cut down on rashes & dry skin.
Posted by: Gail McGaffigan at September 19, 2003 08:53 PMMy son had a small head circumference (Peruvian) and he does have ADHD and LD's...it can mean they have problems, you never know...thanks, Cat
Posted by: cat at September 20, 2003 12:57 AMGreat tips. We will keep all of these in mind as it gets closer to the time that we will be traveling to pick up our son.
KELLY, THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS WEB SITE.WE HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD SON THAT WAS BORN IN GUATEMALA AND A LITTLE GIRL THAT JUST TURNED ONE THAT WAS ALSO BORN IN GUATEMALA.WE WON'T VERY MUCH TO ADOPT ANOTHER CHILD IN TWO OR THREE YEARS.THANKS TO YOUR WEBSITE WE KNOW NOW THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO SO.THANKS SO MUCH FOR KEEPING US UPDATED THROUGH OUT THIS WHOLE ORDEAL.
KAT
Posted by: KAT at September 21, 2003 10:51 PMWhat receommendations do you have for older infants and toddlers re: snacks and food for the trip. Are cheerios and small crackers alright? Any other ideas of snacks? Also, What kind of diet are these children on. Our daughter will hopefully be 10 1/2- 11 mons. old when we travel for her. Do you think she's eating baby food still or do they progress their children to solids by this time. Thank you for all your info. It is very valuable!!
Posted by: Amy at September 22, 2003 10:08 AMmy family is well versed in add..
add is sometimes caused from a stressful birth
not head circum.
also
did you know add was handed down from generations
as well???
dont worry all..!!!!!
as she said..its a cultural thing..
Hi Amy,
I did not say ADHD was caused by a small head circumference, just that I believe the two are related. It is believed to also have a genetic component, esp passed down to boys. The Latin American Parents Association has stated that about 50% of kids from LA have ADD or ADHD. My son's birthmother also chewed cocoa leaves while pregnant, so our son in essence had an intrauterine cocaine exposure. Most kids that I know of that have small heads, low set ears etc..do go on to have learning problems later on. I also believe our son may have experienced birth trauma as well.
The first thing our Peruvian and USA pediatrician noted about him was "boy, his head looks small".
I had also thought this immediately after we got to Peru, esp since I was a NICU and PICU nurse at
the time and measured babies head circumferences every day. I was told in Peru that either the kids have small heads or very large heads,,our son's was "extra small! ".
Kids who are drug exposed often have ADHD also,,
its NOT just a cultural thing! Thanks Cathy
Hi,
Just like to add that as the first post stated, her baby was 10%tile for weight and head was matching this at 10%tile there would not be a problem. Our son was 90%tile for weight at birth, and his head was only 11%tile..quite a difference
He was a HUGE baby almost 9 lbs, but his head size just did not look right compared to his large body ...thanks, Cathy
Kelly,
Thanks for your Travel Tips!! I printed it and followed it when preparing for our visit last week. Our visit was wonderful and I would recommend to anyone considering visiting to go ahead and do it.
Laura
We are just getting started in the process and are a bit worried about the US government's warnings about travel in Guatemala. Is it that dangerous? Also, we are looking to adopt a child 3-5 years of age . . . any insight?
Posted by: Jill at March 30, 2004 08:21 PMI, personally, do not feel that it is dangerous. However, it is purely a comfort level. It is probably less dangerous than some areas in the US, and more dangerous than others. When you travel overseas it is better to be prepared for the area which is what the Travel guide addresses. Understanding a little about Guatemala, the political climate surrounding adoption and the general culture helps you to avoid problems.
There are a number of agencies that work with orphanages with children 3 - 5. I would recommend that you read some books on attachment (you can look at some of the information about attachment in general on this site). There are also some good books on Toddler adoption.
Posted by: Kelly (webmaster) at March 30, 2004 08:59 PM