The most common anti-adoption claim I have heard is that our children are "stolen" from the real birthmom and then given up for adoption (sometimes using a fake birthmom). Less often, has the true story about DNA testing been told in our media. A DNA test is recognized as having an accuracy/reliability greater then 99%. In a relinquishment, it is a stiff requirement of the US Embassy (US adoptions make up the largest percentage of international adoptions). During the DNA sampling, a picture is taken of the birthmother with the child being placed for adoption and the sample is sent to a lab in the US for evaluation. In the course of an adoption, the birthmother is also required to sign her consent for the adoption to take place.
So, what happens if the DNA is not a match?
She's Not the Birthmom-Our Case of DNA Nonmatch
(posted with permission from Kathi Thomas)
Much has been said about the DNA tests that have been required by the United States in adoptions from Guatemala since 1998. (The UK and Canada also have required DNA tests for the past several years.)
Bruce Harris of Casa Alianza would have you believe that DNA fraud is rampant. He actually told me that what “could” happen is a mother bringing in her bio-child for the DNA test (and photo) and then substitute a “stolen” child for the actual adoption. When I reminded him of the DNA photo taken at the time of the birth mother with the child on her lap, and, in our case, that fact that the same doctor saw our child each month and sent us photos, he said that parents are so desperate to get a child that they wouldn’t say anything, even if they realized the baby was switched. Frankly, that sounds racist to me- “even if they realized it was switched”- does he think “THEY” all look alike? I assured him that we would have questioned had our child suddenly started looking like a different child. And, of course, the US Embassy would have to be complicit, since they get the photo of the child and birth mother. Would they also “not notice the difference?” I doubt it!
Anyway, here is an actual experience with DNA failure- not some of Bruce’s imaginings, or “could be's," but an actual first-hand experience.
We received the referral of an infant girl in March of 2001. She was about 6 weeks old at the time. We asked a few preliminary questions and accepted the referral. Our doctor, Dr. Francisco Montiel, sent us photos and a medical report each month, so we had photos of the child all the way through. Finally, late in the 4th month of our referral, the DNA test was done. Devastatingly enough, it came back a total non-match- the woman wasn’t even a relative of this child. The “birth mother” insisted she’d given birth to the child. She had hospital records, showing that she’d given birth to a baby girl of the right age to be this child. Unfortunately, they didn’t do hand or footprints of the babies there, so it couldn’t be proven that this was the baby to which she gave birth. As it turns out, during the first 6 weeks of the baby’s life, she’d left her with whoever would keep her for a few days to a week or so. The “birth mother” couldn’t even swear that this was the child with whom she’d left the hospital, but she thought it was. One person with whom she’d left the child was a friend of hers who had a baby of the same age; it was thought that perhaps that friend had switched the babies. “Our” baby had two faint but pretty visible birth marks, and one thought was that her friend switched her baby for a “perfect” one. We requested that our agency have a DNA test with that woman, and they did. Again, no match. We asked what would happen to the baby, because we had visited and loved this child, and wanted her taken care of. Jessie Garcia, then the Chief INS officer, advised us that the adoption had been terminated and the information turned over to the Guatemalan authorities. We were also told that the Division of Minors had taken little Flor from her private foster home and taken her into their custody. We asked where she was, wanting to be sure she was in a good place, and willing to pay for her moving to a better one if not. At that point, we were advised that we had “no legal right to knowledge of the child.”
We asked what would happen to her. We hoped that a real attempt would be made to find her birth mother. The woman who relinquished Flor said 3 other children were born in the hospital the same day as hers, so it was possible that she had somehow been switched there, we hoped that the authorities would check out that lead. We were advised that was unlikely to happen. When we were told that she would be put into an orphanage that might or might not do adoptions, we asked about an abandonment decree. At that point, we were advised that, considering the circumstances, it might take 3-5 years or longer to get an abandonment for her. We then asked the Embassy if, considering that no real hunt for her birth parents would be done and she’d just be put in an orphanage, would it be possible to get a DNA waiver so we could adopt her anyway. We were told categorically “NO” by Jessie. She said in the case of a DNA failure, there could be no waiver, no adoption; the case was closed, period.
At that point, with our hearts truly broken, we had to go on. We now have a wonderful daughter whom we love dearly, but there will always be a space in our hearts for little Flor, whom we held and loved for those four special days in Guatemala City in May of 2001.
So, when Bruce starts his rhetoric about how DNA doesn’t catch “stolen” or “bought” babies, I know he is wrong. I know, as surely has if little Flor was wrenched out of our waiting arms. My heart aches for her birth parents- was it an accidental or even intentional switch in the hospital? Was the “birth mother” completely lying? Was this baby stolen or bought? I don’t know. I do know that the woman went through a lot to prove this was her baby, and, according to our agency, was fighting to prove she was Flor’s bio mother. We’ll never know the truth, but only this- while there may still be some children stolen or bought, they won’t be coming into the US via a relinquishment adoption. The DNA test DOES catch the nonmatches, and, trust me, there is no way around that, unless you are able, financially and emotionally to continue for possibly years, to try to get an abandonment, the adoption will cease when there is a DNA nonmatch.
Kathi Thomas
Austin TX.
Kathi,
We are in the same exact situation as you. We chose to continue pursuing adoption after the non-match. As of last month, we have been waiting 3 years for our little boy. Susana is very familiar with our case.
You are completely right - there is NO way that a DNA non-match is going to be overlooked or slip through the cracks to be adopted as a relinquishment. Anyone who thinks that is possible, I'd like to hear how it's supposed to be done, because trust me we've tried everything. It's a tragedy that both of our countries would be willing to let these precious children be thrown in an orphanage to be forgotten just because of a situation they couldn't help. No one else wants them, but yet they won't let us have them either!
Dawn Kemp
Georgia
It is very frustrating that your painful experiences of what really happens when DNA does not match are disregarded by Casa Alianza. Casa Alianza goes so far as to state on its website that the US only requires DNA testing in "suspicious" cases. How can we get the truth out to a more widespread audience than ourselves? I have tried writing to CCAI, my representatives, and US DOS, but I have no idea if it makes any difference. I know many others have as well. Maybe in concert we can have our voices and real experiences, as opposed to the false rhetoric and propoganda, heard by the media and our government. It is important not to let instances of false reporting about ICA go without a loud response citing the facts. Eventually, we may become hard to ignore.
Posted by: Lauren at February 7, 2004 11:42 AMI do object to the phrase "thrown in an orphanage" in the above comments. That is a sweeping statement. Though I obviously agree that a family is a better place to grow up than an orphanage, our two sons came from a very good situation, a small private orphanage in Guatemala City. They were loved and disciplined and given opportunities for special outings. In fact, one reason we chose the orphanage as the place we wanted our referrals from, was knowing the love and care the children get there, The children visit the zoo, Burger King, have pinata parties and birthday celebrations, in spite of the fact that the staff operates on a "shoestring", their only funding coming from donations and adoption fees. At Christmas, the children put on a Christmas "pasturela", complete with costumes, stable, and Guatemalan Holy Infant. They receive good health care, nutritious meals, nice clothing (much donated by a Walmart near our agency and taken down with traveling parents in huge duffels), and they are happy, loving children when they join their new families.
Our boys both bonded easily to us (each came home at the age of four..now 7 and 9)and have had no "issues"...though sometimes being "all boy" can be an issue for a mom who had 4 daughters first! They learned English quickly and were very motivated to become part of our family. Our nine year old daughter is currently waiting in the same loving place for the day we can travel to adopt her in Guatemala and bring her home. She has been at this orphanage since the age of two. Her abandonment was only completed last May. Why did this take so long?? Who knows...but if it had happened earlier, she might have been referred to another family, since we were busy adopting our two boys. We see God's hand in the timing. If she had been neglected and suffering all this time, it would not seem fair. But who is to say these years were not an important part of the history God wanted her to have and will use in her life in the future? It would be a prideful assumption to believe we are the only ones who could meet this child's needs as she has been growing up. She and other school age children have the opportunity to attend a private school, since the staff believes this is the best education for their children. Though it's been a long wait, knowing she is in the care of the amazing director and loving staff is reassuring. And though we will never regain all these "lost years", we consider it a miracle and a blessing she was placed in the same orphanage as our sons, so we could "find" her. (None of the three are biological siblings.) Not only will they share the same ethnic heritage, but the same early home. Photos we have of them all together in this special place, before the boys came home, are priceless.
Though I realize this may be an exception rather than the rule for Guatemalan orphanages, I felt compelled to defend my childrens' "family" in Guatemala. Many children adopted from this orphanage over the past 25 yrs have kept in touch with the directors. I have been at gatherings where these older adoptees have expressed thankfulness for the love and care they received, grateful to have spent their early months and years there, rather than on the streets or in difficult situations.
Thanks for giving me this forum to say that not every orphanage allows their charges to lay listless in cribs with minimal human contact.
Just as some adoptive parents are so grateful for their child's foster family, we are equally grateful for the start our children had in this special place.
Thanks for reading...
Hi Nancy,
My husband and I are in the process of adopting a little girl from Guatemala. I am looking to go and visit, but wanted to wait until the DNA comes back OK. She is in private Foster care and we cannot wait to bring her home. We are just now working on the paperwork. Can I ask the name of the Orphanage you used so I may go visit when I am there? Thank you,
Posted by: Lisa at February 26, 2004 08:45 AM