A few reminders… Yes, it was Canadian Flag Day. But that is true of every first of July. And like every other first of July for the prior 33 years, it was also my birthday. Most importantly, for those of us who were in the process of adopting from Guatemala, it was what seemed to be a very important day.
Last year on July 1st, PGN, acting as the Central Authority, released what it thought would be the country’s new Hague compliant system of adoptions. This new system entirely ended foster care and the private notarial system.
For many people like myself who were in the “post March 5” category, it appeared to be a blessing as PGN announced that it would allow us to complete our adoptions if they were handed over to the Central Authority. For people who had just accepted a referral or were waiting for one, it was nightmare because there was really no system in place to receive an official referral.
There had been a rumor that July 1 would be the day and I remember waking up in the morning and immediately checking Guatadopt, Ethica, and the Big List to see if there was any news. As I read the announcement on Ethica and saw that post 3/5 cases were safe, I shouted out in joy, waking up and scaring the heck out of my wife. I recall enjoying the traffic filled commute to work, smiling and laughing as I listened to the Grateful Dead song “Sugar Magnolia” which begins “Sugar Magnolia, blossoms blooming, heads all empty and I don’t care”. It is a song of unquestioned joyful exuberance, and that was how I felt at that moment.
As I arrived in the office, I ignored the Happy Birthday wishes from my peers and quickly got onto e-mail to send friends and relatives the great adoption news. The subject line of the e-mail, “My Best B-Day Ever!!!” At the time, we didn’t know what the announcement meant, so my joy was not a selfish one that ignored the future of the children of Guatemala. And at the time, I also knew much less about adoptions than I do today.
It turned out that this announcement, had the Hague not been overturned, would have been a nightmare for me as well. It soon became clear that PGN had not developed a new functioning system. It had created a bureaucratic scenario with more holes than a Packer-backer’s cheesehead hat. For the few months that followed, we were back at square one, not knowing if or how we would ever get our daughter home.
That all seems so long ago now. The stress and pain of the period does not enter my head as I walk through the door to my house each evening eager to give my Isabel a kiss and see her face light up because daddy is home.
In the end, we were all very lucky that everything ended up okay. My family and so many others (weren’t there about 1,500 in-process cases at the time?) will be forever grateful and beholden to Susana Luarca, the Guatemalan Bar Association and the Association in Defense of Adoption for their hard work. Because in reality, we adoptive parents waited too long with our congressional lobbying, petitions, and organizing. We got caught trying to undo what had been done rather than taking a proactive approach.
I believe this is an important lesson for us all in life because we can’t count on luck and the hard work of others to make things come out okay. We have to be vigilant, proactive, and willing to take risks in order to defend the values we believe. This is a lesson not only for adoption but for life in general (okay, I’m getting too philosophical).
Another valuable lesson is that we have to be thorough and not jump to conclusions on things. I was wrong when I sent out that e-mail about it being my best birthday ever. That e-mail was based solely on me reading the magic words that PGN said my adoption would be completed. But the fine print between those magic words really showed something entirely different.
This second lesson will be one where I can promise adoption advocates will be calling on your help in the future. There are potential, maybe probable, changes to the Guatemalan side of the equation. But Guatemala is a sovereign nation and we really don’t have much control over their system outside of aiding the experts. More under our control is the myriad of potential changes to the American side of intercountry adoption.
In the weeks and months to come you will be hearing much more from Guatadopt about these changes domestically, primary of which is the ICARE Bill currently in the hands of both the House and the Senate. This bill, like the PGN announcement a year ago, seems on the surface to be a dream come true. But in practical application, it too is full of holes and raises as many questions as answers. For more information on ICARE, please visit http://www.focusonadoption.com/educate.shtml.
So as I wrote earlier in a post called “In a time calm”, please keep visiting and please stay active.
On a separate note, as Kelly announced, I will now be taking over the primary responsible for this site. If you have any suggestions or ideas on how we can better serve the adoption community, please do let me know. And I also want to send my best wishes to Kelly and Becky in their new endeavor.
Yes, Kevin, I too remember very well July 1, 2003. My husband and I like you were "caught up" in the Hague mess. We had accepted the referral of our beautiful daughter on May 5, 2003 after waiting 8 months for her referral. Then, before we knew it, the wind was taken out of our sails and we were told we were in for a very bumpy ride. My husband and I were in Atlantic City, NJ and we promised ourselves we would enjoy our vacation no matter what. We did not look on the Internet while in AC. We came home on July 2, and could not turn our computer on fast enough. Like you, we thought we had dodged another bullet. Little did we know, there would be many more bullets to come. Again, like you we had a very happy ending, but will never forget the year of "The Hague--2003" We brought our beautiful daughter home on 01/07/04 at 8 1/2 months old, and we felt extremely lucky with all the obstacles that we got her at that age, I thought she would be at least one year old before we could bring her home. But like everyone says, IT IS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. Thank you Kevin for all you have done and all you will be doing in the future. Thank you also, to Kelly and GOOD LUCK in your new venture.
Sharon
Posted by: Sharon at June 30, 2004 11:00 PMSharon - I am Sharon too, and our stories sound almost identical (except for the husband part, as I am a single Mom). My Natalie was born May 5, 2003 and I accepted her referral on May 7, 2003 after waiting 8 months. She has been home forever since 2/28/04 and I can't imagine life without her. It was worth the wait but it was a hellish 2003 during the wait. I look forward to helping in whatever I can do to help further the adoption process in Guatemala and elsewhere. These children need to get through 'the system' as quickly as possible and get with the families that love and want them. Checks and balances in any system are fine but politics and power struggles are not. I still follow the lists daily and will continue to do so. Kevin, I look forward to your posts.
Posted by: Sharon at July 1, 2004 01:02 PMWe accepted our referral on 4/19/03 and, of course, were caught in the roller coaster of the Hague. We've been delighted to see so many families who were able to be united with their children after things "started moving again." However, we still do not have our son. We've hit snag after snag and tried to work through each one. We've tried to remain hopeful. Our case came out of PGN on June 2; our son's passport was issued promptly; but we're still waiting for the pink slip. So even when "the process" is running relatively smoothly, stuff happens outside our control. We, too, jumped to conclusions. Every time our case moved forward a tiny bit, we thought, "Surely now things will go smoothly." Each time we hit another snag and our hearts sank. But although our son is just over 15 months old, we remain ever hopeful we'll be united with him soon! After all, he's been ours in our hearts since we saw his referral photos all those many, many months ago.
Posted by: Monica at July 1, 2004 07:59 PMI also remember July 1 very well! We found out our POA was registered on March 10 so July 1 became the start of our nightmare. We had accepted our referral on Jan 14, 2003 and we had visited our daughter in May 2003. This news was completely devastating since we did not know if we would ever get to bring her home. The months that followed were filled with joy and tears as the adoption news changed almost daily about what would happen to our case. We did get "the call" on Oct 28, and we were able to bring our daughter home on Nov 14. Even though it was just 4 short months that we went on this ride, it felt like an eternity, and it is a time I will never forget. While it is a bad memory, it serves as a daily reminder to me what a "blessing" Elia really is to us. She is truly our "miracle baby". It is hard to believe a year has already gone by. We are starting our paperwork for #2. Part of me thinks we are crazy, but the other part would go through it all over again if I had to!
Posted by: Jenny at July 1, 2004 11:24 PMWe accepted our referral on 5/30/03 after waiting 7 months for a referral. We wanted siblings. Boy has that turned into a mess. Doing and redoing paperwork, because on some papers the children are separate (needed two forms), and in some papers they are together. Having papers expire and reapplying for the 1-600A, a new home study, fingerprints, financial statements… Going to Guatemala last November to find that our paperwork was misfiled in the US Embassy. Having our advocate decide not to pay anyone and having to come up with approximately $10,000 more money for lawyers and foster care. We were approved by the PGN on June 2 and they can’t find our paperwork. It is sitting on someone’s desk waiting for a final signature. My daughter is now 15 months old and my son is 3 ˝, we are praying that we can get them home by the end of this month. Yes, July 1st last year seems like an eternity ago, but I am sure that the next twelve months will fly by much too quickly. And still I consider us lucky. The experience has strengthened our marriage, given me a new direction for a career when I retire, and made me very aware of how important it is to have good friends.
Posted by: Ritta at July 2, 2004 10:39 AMKevin,
I so remember last year on July 1st, I was in Guatemala with my DH and our soon to be daughter (we prayed) and celebrating her 1st birthday in a hotel with one slice of cake and one candle. We were so upset when we left her and although we had a nightmare process, besides the Hague issues, she is home this year after 14 months and we feel so blessed, but that will be a summer that we will never forget.
Katherine
July 1st was the day our POA arrived in Guatemala City to be registered. I was so disappointed that the beautiful two month old we had seen for the first time a week before was probably not coming home to us. Our coordinator hand-carried the POA for us so she saw our little darling and took video. I watched it once and put it away so that I wouldn't get any more attached.
We were blessed to have our Emily home on New Year's Eve of 2003. It was one of the longest six months of my life. People say you forget the pain and struggles after your child is home. I will never forget how horrible the summer was, but the pain does fade as the joy grows in my heart watching her change each day.
Posted by: Sarah at July 7, 2004 11:34 AMI, too, remember July 1 all too well. I received the referral of my son in late June, just days before the PGN announcement. In addition to the worries that Kevin discussed above, single people had the additional fear, based on the difficulty of deciphering the announcement, that singles might no longer be able to adopt in Guatemala. I feel blessed that, in light of the uncertainty, my son came home just over 7 months later. I also remember, with great joy, the day in August when we learned that the Guatemalan Constitutional Court declared the effort to accede to the Hague unconstitutional.
Good luck Kevin in this new work - I still consult this site and remain so interested in the issues connected with adoption from Guatemala.
Lee
Posted by: Lee at July 7, 2004 04:35 PMWe accepted our referral also on May 5,2003 and as of July 1st it has been almost 2 months of unrest. Our son who was born on 4/18/03 with an
undeveloped right arm/hand needed to not only get home to us in Colorado, but needed medical care he couldn't get there. We prayed hard that
our post 3/5/4 case would be safe. We visited him in September and were able to bring him home in October. Thank God!
I agree completely that we must not relax even tho the joy we experience now helps to replace what we went thru to get him home. We are told by our agency and Guatemalan atty that again the
Guatemalan Govt is in the process writing further
laws that could end private foster care and put
all of the wonderful children in orphanages.
We are writing a letter to the Embassy explaining the need for foster care to be continued and that was one of the reasons we chose Guatemala. It would seem that the calm we have experienced, may be the one before a further storm both in Guatemala and the U.S.
We had visited our son in the middle of June, our dossier had been in Guatemala at the end of May and we were told they thought we were in Family Court but they weren't sure because our facilitator was on Vacation. We read about July 1st and breathed a sigh of relief thinking we had already started the process. Then we found out our POA wasn't registered until July 3rd........ Boy did we have a Horrendous rest of the summer after we had the greatest week with our son the thought that we may lose the referral and never be allowed to adopt him was heartbreaking. Thank Goodness it all was worked out
Posted by: Mark at July 9, 2004 01:51 AMOh do I ever remember July 1st 2003. I was in Guatemala City visiting my daughter for the first time alone, my husband could not travel due to work. My facilitator called me and told me he had great news and I would probably be back to bring home our daughter in 6 weeks. Well we traveled December 1st 2003. That was such a happy but sad day because my visit was coming to an end and I had to leave my daughter, and come home and wait some more, and wait is what we did, but eventually our dreams came true and we traveled back to Guatemala and brought home the greatest gift in the world. Our daughter was worth all the wait even though while your waiting you cannot imagine the end, but it will come for all waiting. I will keep you in my prayers. I always say We did not choose our daughter GOD chose us to be her parents. Terri
Posted by: Terri at July 10, 2004 09:22 PMI remember this soooooo well. It seems like just yesterday, yet with all we've been through since, it seems like an eternity ago. We accepted our son's referral Feb 24, 2003. He is still not home. We are still in the same emotional turmoil, and I've gotta say, after a year and a half of this, it's exhausting. July 1st 2003 was a date we waited so long for, and for us it brought more questions than answers. We are still not in PGN.
When this is over, and we've had time to get over this trauma in our lives, I hope to spend more time advocating with you. In the mean time I'm focusing on maintaining my sanity!
Chelsea
waiting on Juan Carlos, two years old
I'm just browsing around your site for the first time, interesting read
Posted by: Ming Lee at November 8, 2004 11:49 AM