Well, like every expectant parent, I'm anxious, emotional and crazy. My dossier has been delivered to my attorney in Guatemala City and on Saturday, I received notification from US Homeland Security (after several addendums) that my A600A has been approved-the Guatemalan Embassy will be notified of my approval. The part that was disturbing is the small print that states "your fingerprints are good for 18 months." My heart sank at the possibility that this could take 18 months.... waiting to ear what comes out of the conference and the news on the new laws.
peace,

Something that I thought might be a great thread here is for people who have visited or picked up their children to write a bit about the experience. I remember all too well how any glimpse of life in Guatemala made me feel connected to my son while I was waiting.

Well, one year ago today my husband and I were in Guatemala visiting the Embassy to get our son's visa. We had him in our arms forever for about 24 hours, and we were all so overwhelmed! He was 9.5 months old, and was so frightened of my husband for the first couple of weeks, having been in a foster home with two women and no men (a mother and former daughter-in-law team). The thing I remember most was how scared I was about the upcoming flight back to Atlanta-Boston, and whether the baby would cry the whole way. Actually, he slept most of it and didn't seem to notice it all until we exited Logan Airport in Boston at -2 degrees! Everyone I have spoken with has told me that their child was pretty much the same on the flight home. He took a few weeks to adjust, but soon was secure in a new routine. Our biggest struggle with him was to get him to sleep in a crib, since he had spent his entire life sleeping with his foster mom.

I thought that Guatemala was so beautiful. The weather was a perfect 78 degrees, and the flowers, green grass and fruits were such a welcome sight after winter in the northeast. We stayed at the Marriott, and the people couldn't be nicer. Everywhere we went, people treated us very kindly. I loved seeing men and women in traditional Mayan clothing, walking the streets on their way to work or boarding the buses.

Our foster mother was wonderful and did so much to make our son the happy, healthy person he is today. He was born early at less than 3 pounds, and today is a normal, happy adjusted 24 pound toddler (21 months old). He was so lucky to be so loved!

The last thing I will say is that the ache of waiting really does end and go away when you get "the call". People told me to sleep late, go out to breakfast with friends, read, knit, etc. and although I did try to have fun while waiting, I spent much of my time longing and daydreaming. I wish that I refinished the upstairs bedroom, or completed some of the projects that I wanted to get done. Now it is near impossible to paint for a few years. It is all worth it, but if you are waiting, get some of those things done!

I would love to see some other people post a bit about their visits and their experience getting their children.

I wish peace to all of you who are waiting. I know it is so hard, but you will be so happy when your time to go comes.

Well, our experience was very harrowing, but just as Susan said... once the call comes, or even more accurately in my opinion, once the child is HOME, all the anxiety and frustration disappears.

We got hung up in the "Hague mess" as it is commonly referred to by those of us who went through it. (We were "pre 3/5" for those reading this who understand!) After being told that our children should be home "probably by Mother's Day, but definitely by Father's Day"(2003), we brought our children home in February 2004. We had as many issues come up at as many different points of the process as I had heard anyone have (except, thank God, an abandonment issue). We were lucky enough to have an agency who allowed us to travel down to visit our children several times. One of our visits was Father's Day weekend so Daddy could spend it with his kids for the first time ever.

We also stayed at the Marriott and were extremely happy with the service there. The people who work there are fabulous.... from the shuttle drivers to the bellhops, the front desk to the waitstaff, the housekeeping crew to the maintenance people. We did not see one single person there who did not smile and nod at our presence. We met a lot of people going through the process and made it a point to talk with other people and share stories. It is SO important in my opinion, to share your feelings during this stressful time. Only someone else who is going through it (or has gone through it) can truly understand what you are probably feeling. Others may have good intentions and try to be supportive... but the bond we all share is deep and true. We may not all have horror stories, and we may have breezed through the process in the least amount of time anyone had ever heard of... but we were there, and we know the heartache of the wait, no matter the length of it. And those of us who have our children home know that eventually it DOES happen. These kids do come home to their forever families. They do adjust in time... either a suprisingly short time (ours slept 12+ hours at night from day one!), or it takes a while to adjust as Susan said.

One bit of advice I have once you are home, is to not be too proud or embarrased to ask for help. If you have friends who have said "Call me"... do just that. Know that when you get home with your child(ren), you will be totally overwhelmed with emotion. Chances are, you are going to find yourself reduced to tears when you realize you have just landed on US soil. For the first few weeks, you are going to feel numb. If this is your first child, don't worry about feeling like you are doing everything wrong... you are NOT!

For those of you who are waiting... I wish you peace and a speedy homecoming for your child. But know that it does take time, and the hassle you might be getting is not personal. It is not just your case that is having trouble... they do not hate you... they are not singling you out. They HAVE to be diligent in this process. You would NOT want to be adopting a child who is truly not free to be adopted. There are checks and balances every step of the way. Sometimes a case is chosen to be scrutinized for some reason we are not aware of, and it just happens. The agency can not predict it... the attorney can not predict it... it just happens. Maybe the coffee was too cold that morning, maybe a bus stalled in front of the caseworker on his way to work and made him late... but it is not personal and you must just have patience. You will NOT get accurate information most times. Do not try to put the blame on anyone... it just happens.

My final advice is.... it is all worth it. Do not be afraid to jump into the process. I look at these 2 beautiful toddlers and thank God that they are home. I thank God for their birthmothers' decisions to put them up for adoption. I thank God for the orphanage who took them in.

Take Susan's advice and do all those projects that you want to get done, while you are waiting. Try to focus on life outside of the adoption process.

On a VERY personal note here, I am going to admit one thing... our children have been home almost a year, and I have not been able to leave them with a sitter yet. I am not ready, even though their grandparents have a standing offer. When I am ready, I will know it. Right now, I am just not ready. I can not even explain why to anyone, it just is! So, don't think you are alone if you feel like you do not want to let your child out of your sight when you get home!! Don't let anyone guilt you into thinking you should leave them to go to the movies, lunch, coffee, etc with them. When YOU are ready, you will know it.

And now, it is time for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... have a great day!

Kevin,
How important it is to share our opinions and stories... For our family all three adoptions were sooo different, which just goes to show you it is not a cookie cutter process. We are dealing with our own emotions and then of course, the cultural differences of personalities....I remember not understanding why getting one peice of paper should take a week or more?? I had such the "I want everything now" attitude during my first adoption..
I have learned so much becuase of our first adoption. I have such a respect for all the folks who work and help in Guatemala..I trust everyone I know there and have the deepest respect for all of them..Most of all for our first daughters foster mother..

My child came into her home like a wild animal at two years old..This women had to teach her how to do so many things that she did not know how to do. I know that she loved this child and not a day goes by that I do not think of her and feel thankful our daughter was lucky enough to have her.

We as a family have gone to Guatemala many many times and of course we visit with everyone whom was a part of all our adoptions.. For me the process was life changing in so many positive ways, I never look back with anger. All things happens for a reason and sometimes if we are lucky we learn...

Carol

I can't believe we will celebrate our first "gotcha day" anniversary in Feb! It seems as if Eliana has always been a part of my life. I also went through the whole "Hague mess". 2003 was a roller-coaster year of emotional ups and downs. But truly, once I held my daughter the pain of waiting started to fade. With each smile, hug, kiss, and the sound of her calling me "Momma" the pain faded more and more. Now as we approach a year of being together I can say the pain is gone. I won't forget it, but I would go thru it again and more to have my precious daughter with me.

Eliana came home at almost 14 months. Her adjustment was smooth and quick. She bonded with me immediately. I am a single Mother. A friend went with me to Guatemala. In those first few weeks Eliana would only let me hold her. She was okay with my friend playing with her and would let her touch her. But she did not want her to hold her and didn't like it much when she didn't see me in the room. She slept and ate well from day 1. Traveling, she slept most of the time flying home. She didn't much like the hour long car trip from the airport to home. But you have to remember it was her first time in a carseat, the weather was chilly and damp 40's, and it had already been a long day. I wasn't too thrilled with the rush-hour traffic or the cold weather myself.

Developmentally Eliana is at or above target on everything. She is happy and active, except for the usual "2" moments. As someone spoke about earlier I too have had a hard time leaving her with sitters. Since I am single and have to work outside the home she goes to daycare and stays with friends when I work weekends or evenings (I am a nurse). However, leaving her for anything other than "have to" times such as work, I have yet to do and don't know when I will feel okay about doing that. I really don't have a desire to do anything without her. She goes with me everywhere and doesn't seem to mind it one bit.

Well, I guess I have rambled on enough. For those of you waiting, hang in there. Your time will come, you will have your children home. Get as much done around the house as you can now. Cause if it is not mandatory,it probably won't get done after your baby is home.

Blessings,
Kathy

My husband and I have been going through the adoption process for well over 2 1/2 years now. We are still trying to get our daughter home.We accepted our daugthers referral in Sept 2002. Our daughters case took a turn for the worse in 2003 and then in Jan 2004 we thought we lost her as she may be unadoptable. With very heavy hearts and having to make the decision to let her go was the worse day of my life. It took us a month and a half to say, yes, we will move on. We then accepted the referral of a baby girl in late Feb. Because of what we were still going through emotionally, we were mourning the loss of our first baby, we thought it would take months before this baby would come home too. To our great relief she was home 3 1/2 months later.It is now 8 months later and the joy of our lives. She will be 1 next week and in two weeks we are visiting our first referral for the fifth time. Soon after we took the referral of our second daughter the attorney told us he was still working on getting our first referral adoptable. Eventhough it's been so long I will fight for her until there is absolutely no way of bringing her home.I dont care if she's ten!!!
It has been the hardest 3 years of my life but the most rewarding. When I look at our beautiful Sophia I think to myself, I would not have her if all this did not happen.I hope to post soon that our first daughter Bella is home forever also.
They truly are worth the wait.

Audra

My name is Christopher or (C.J.). I was adopted from Guatemala City. I am not sure where but I was adopted when I was six. My adopted parents (Grace & Zack) lives in Crothersville, Indiana. I am currently living in Evansville, attending the University of Evansville. The reason I am writing is to tell you guys "Thank You". I am saying this because I was one 1 of 13 kids that was kidnapped.This occured when I was 2 years old. Well as you have probably figured out, they had seized the kidnappers. The ironic thing is I was the only kid out of those kids that was not returned to the original parents. Till this day I really don't know why but it happened that was. Well the parents I have now are pretty cool. They love me to death and would do anything in this world to please me. I am one of five kid, two of which is also adopted. Even though this had happened to me at such a young age I still look at it as something that makes me stronger. I really didn't have a childhood, but I am glad that God brought me to these fine people that took me in to their lives. I just wish my parents knew how much I truly do care for them, there is nothing in this world that could put my feeling of love in words. If it wasn't for them I probably would not be in college. Thank you everyone for what you are doing for the kids that do not have parents yet. I know if it wasn't for you and the people that adopts the kids there would not be a place for us in this world. Weather you know it or not you guys do make a difference in people's lives.

Thanks,
Christopher

What a pity that this wonderful site is getting used as someone's ad. Kevin, you do great things and I appreciate all the work you do. It's too bad you/we can't prevent this from happening.
Cathy